This morning was a hectic day – both for me and baita. The science behind school starting kids is that many of them begin their journey happily. The first 3 days are great. It’s usually during the second week when it hits them that this is a routine. That’s when they spill like water all around- screams ,refusals and fights come in. And 99% of mums keep saying,’hurry up! We’re late.’ ‘Be quick!’ -We scream, get frustrated and obviously that results in more tears and an unhappy start. So here’s something that might help you that we as teachers used to tell parents at orientations!😊
1. Accept the new change for them. Breath in and be ready for all. Move your alarm clocks 30 min earlier than the usual time so you get done with kitchen work first before waking up kids. Prep lunchboxes at night. Make your mornings easy.
2. Set routines with early bed time. Swipe to see the schedule for each age. Sleep is super important for kids to get up fresh. Say no to late night dawats, dor ki shadiyan, malls. If kids refuse to sleep, dim home lights- make the surrounding calm and lie down with them- telling them to go to bed wouldn’t work. Act MORE say LESS
3. Spend the first 20-30 min of the morning in cuddles and something your kid likes. It’s a huge change for them. Separation anxiety kicks in hard. Don’t tell them to hurry up.Just use min words and keep moving on with one step at a time. Distract them from school prep. Hug more. Resist shouting , shoving, pulling. Nothing will help.
4. Don’t bribe them with things you won’t do. No lying. Kids are smart- very soon they won’t trust you and will be doing the same. Don’t make false promises. Don’t lure them with candies and toys to get ready. This will make them feel that it’s an everyday thing and you’re in trouble.
5. The truth is- IT TAKES TIME. Some kids have meltdowns in the first week. Some not at all. Don’t compare your kids with others or even 2 of your own. Each kid takes it’s own time. Allow that. It’s a lifetime experience- also, if he refuses and gets upset even in 4-5 weeks, chat with the teacher as there might be something at school. Bullying oR a frustrated teacher might be it!
It gets easy mama. InshAllah! Anything that you’d like to add that works for you?
Nights were hard for baita. For 17 days- he cried- he was upset. He wanted to sleep on my arm- hug me —He often got dada’s car keys and asked them to take him to Nayel home.
Meanwhile at Hajj, no one told us these details. The 5 tough days began. We got into Ahrams and left homes for Mina. Hajj journey began. Honestly when people told me that the moment I’d get on the flight, I’d forget everything behind, I thought that wasn’t possible. But that did happen. The 5 days through Hajj- there’s so much to focus on that you hardly remember life back home.
So my biggest reflection so far from Hajj is ‘Life’ itself. You start Hajj 7 star- luxury of your home- moving to a 5 star hotel for a few days- next comes Aziziya – an apartment which is comfortable but not luxurious- each step u miss what you had- yet the only focus is- Allah swt. Then soon you’re living in Mina- 30-40 people in a tent. Bed space just so you can lie straight- you adjust- sometimes it’s hot or very cold- but your mind is busy in zikr Allah. Soon after- you’re out under sky in Arafat and Muzdalifah- nothing at all- only Allah. So Allah swt takes you on a journey to think about your life. Sometimes it’s all great, sometimes not so well, other times hard and sad— and by all means He wants us to turn to Him only.
Adjusting to people around, moulding and giving in on tough situations. Being the bigger person and apologizing. Patience. Giving up your comfort for someone else for Allahs sake. Helping others and getting envious to earn more reward by doing better— all is what makes us Human more than someone else. That’s what Hajj taught me. And aren’t those what we want to teach our kids too? But before teaching- they need to see us doing that. And it will automatically be reflected on them.
Hajj is a physical journey And moments to connect spiritually are hard to achieve in the chaos and uncertainty. But as soon as you embark it all by Labaik Allah huma Labaik words— you surrender and give Him the charge. It all cools down no matter how hard it seems then.
With each passing day- I miss that place more- and with each sajood I thank Him even more for giving it to me.
My Hajj Kahani – Part 4
After Umrah, we were moved to a place called Aziziya for 4 days. Aziziya is just like Sharjah, imagine Makkah to be Dubai. Each company has their building or hotel where their people stay. It was very convenient as it’s closer to Mina so during Hajj days, we could come back from Mina to shower and rest if needed. These 4 days we relaxed, prayed and basically just chilled. Now Hajj days are no less than miracles. Whatever I asked for it was as it Allah mian is justing sitting and listening to me. One day I left masjid after Maghrib prayers and felt like eating grapes. Right outside I saw. Truck giving off grapes! But it was packed and I couldn’t get. Sometime later as I was walking, a very unusual theela of fruits of all kinds was standing. I bought some grapes and ate happily! I was telling my MIL this and she said Allah swt is answering little things so He builts His trust that he’s listening- and you go ahead and ask whatever you want. 😍
I used to be so worried about Nayel. Even leaving him with his dada dadi was making me anxious as he makes everyone run around. So Allah swt blessed me with such helpful people around. @emirateshomenursing stepped up and sent nannies for a week while I was away- and the later days @faizaali sent me her awesome nanny to support. It was beyond words and I cannot express how things got easy. Indeed when Allah swt says leave on Him- we really should. I’m blessed to around people who’re so helpul and supportive! My hajj journey has these little beautiful moments that always bring smile.
Practice leaving your worries on Allah swt. When we worry and cry to people, it’s as if we’re trying to control all. Allah swt doesn’t like it. He wants his people to ask only Him. Cry to Him. Trust me guys- Right in Haram I prayed Allah For giving me patience to toilet train Nayel. It was funny- but why not! I know He will help me- he always does. Today- talk to Allah swt for you’re tinniest worry- tell Him- with tears- think how our babies need milk- How do we know they’re hungry? They cry! It’s same for us- and you’ll see it happenings so beautiful inshAllah. positivity- Tawakul – sincerity all you need
#myhajjkahani – 3.
This one is just a reflection post before I go into details of what happened next. One must be thinking that why am I sharing my journey in detail. There are 2reasons for it- 1- for my ownself- I want to have it written somewhere so I can refresh it again and again. 2-for people to get motivated to plan theirs soon. No doubt Hajj is a very hectic trip- miles and miles of walk- terrible washrooms- just to name a few- but what you achieve out of it is so much bigger than any hurdle that comes in your way. Even if one of you gets inspired and pushed to plan their Hajj next year after reading my stories, I’d feel I’m doing something right. InshAllah. I was telling someone the other day how it really feels, and I’d best describe Hajj as your delivery pain- being in labour. As mums imagine that time- that pain- that effort- and once your baby is in your arms- you don’t even remember slightest of that excruciating pain. It’s all gone. And for some of us- we crave and undergo that again- knowing the pain- yet that tiny bundle is all what we remember. Hajj is very similar to that! After all the pain and effort – what you gain cannot be described in words. It’s pure. It’s beautiful. And if your Hajj does get accepted- it’s as if you’re reborn-SubhanAllah!
Whenever I felt tired or down during the 17 days, Allah swt made me come across someone who would push me and get me in tears in forgiveness. Once when I was missing Nayel, I met a young girl- 6 months pregnant- the next day I heard her delivering her baby- the hospital kept her premature baby and asked her to go back. She was doing Hajj just like me. Praying- with a smile- doing sabr- Gave me an instant boost. The last day I heard of her son passing away- I couldn’t imagine her pain. All I remember her is as a brave young girl doing her rituals with courage. May Allah swt bless her and all young girls trying for babies – their own coolness of eyes soon iA. I also came across a mother with 3 kids- all there doing Hajj. She was such a calm and a happy lady! All 3 kids playing around – adjusting to whatever was coming. No complaints. It changed my perspective and got me on track!Alhamdulillah.
To be cont
My Hajj Kahani – Part 2.
We were in Dubai, mama in Lahore and the package we chose plans and runs from Karachi. Alhamdullilah once we initiated, Allah helped each step to go forward. We have a general concept of going for Hajj in old age. Even if we can afford, we plan it for later time. I don’t understand why. Do we all know exactly how long are we in this world? Is tomorrow promised? Then why leave the major for last? Mama had the same perception- her initial reaction was that her daughters are still not married and she can’t leave them. But Alhamdullilah she took some time to decide and finally stepped up. We don’t have a brother. So it had to be with one of us. Me being the first to go- couldn’t leave without ma. May Allah call my sisters too soon. IA.
She flew here to me a week ago we had to fly for Hajj. Our Hajj group gave us flexibility to book our tickets, so 5 months prior, we did those which made us leave directly from Dubai and come back here too without having to go to Pakistan. Biggest blessing!
Upon reaching Makkah- the first day was a tough one- 9 hours in a bus- midnight somewhere we finally reached our hotel and were in ihrams for umrah. We thought of resting for a bit – but as soon as we got there, our souls just wanted to enter haram. I was this close to seeing Kaaba for the first time. The energy revived – no sleep to fatigue. I kept remembering all duas I had to say upon looking at the Kaaba for the first time- it’s a special dua qabool moment.
I kept my eyes down until I was very close to the grand black cube. And as I lifted my eyes-I had goosebumps- numbness and fear. Tears rolled down- like a stream- my first words ‘Alhamdullilah- ya Allah-‘ I don’t remember what I asked at that time. I was in some other state. Just crying and in a shock that Allah chose me out of all to be here at that particular moment. That Allah loves me- that He might have loved something I did. I don’t know what that was- but I prayed I kept doing it more and more- to gain His love.
Every other person I glanced upon had tears. Hand rose- lips muttering- eyes submissive- there- all are same- you’re at His honor- His home.
To be cont.. .